(Life after meth; My personal testimony)
So then... I think it was just minutes and I had forgotten all that had took place on Friday night and the message from Mr. Williams. By the time winter came our mom and dad were separated. All of us kids were split up amongst our relatives. I was 10 years old.
After turning 11 I started using drugs, mostly smoking pot and taking amphetamines. At first I felt guilty to use... but as any addict will tell you, this wears off quickly. The more I used, the more alienated from my mom, dad, brother, sisters... everybody.
At age 13 me & Jimmy (my brother) went to live with our dad. He had gotten remarried and had a house on the East-side of Saint Paul. Our sisters went to live with our mom; she had moved to Superior Wisconsin. I loved mom and dad a lot, so I went back and forth between the two a lot.
We were hang'en out on our corner on the East-Side one day and who shows up? David and Mark Williams! I had turned 15 and was into all kinds a drugs. Well... I had a few hits of acid (LSD) so I gave some to David and Mark and took a hit also. That day would be the last time I saw Mr. Williams in this world.
After the drug started to take effect, Mark said he had the munchies; so the three of us went to the Williams so Mark could get something to eat. Sitting at the kitchen table, I was out of this world on drugs. David and Mark were fix'en some peanut butter sandwiches. Mr. Williams came out a door in to the kitchen, straight for me; he had a bible in his hand. Pointing to the bible he said, 'Mike, the day will come when this right here is going to get you higher than any drugs. He said nothing else, turned and went back to his room.
Mark and I started to commit burglaries on a regular basis to support our drug addiction. I also started hang'en with a cuzin... Johnny. We became very close and would take our life of drugs and crime to a new low.
The following summer Johnny and I turned 16 and committed our first armed robbery. By fall we were arrested for armed robbery, drugs and burglary. We were in and out of the system for a few years. At 19 we decided to stop the armed robbery; Johnny had almost been shot; the bullet came close enough to shoot the sunglasses he was wearing right off his head! At a wedding a guy came and started shooting; he was just a few feet from me when he pointed the gun at me and fired seven shots at my heart. We were both pretty suprised that not even one bullet hit me!
So we decided that we would live longer if we just deal drugs. We did this for years and by the time we hit 30 years old we had all the friends and stuff that money could buy. I had already gotten married to Nevada and had three beautiful children. During this time I tried to work, even holding a security supervisors job with a very large private company for ten years.
Also, at the same time, I got myself addicted to meth. My marriage was falling apart. I was becoming increasingly paranoid and delusional. My wife and kids had left a couple of times... but I would talk her into coming back; making all kinds of promises that I wanted to keep, but couldn't.
Nevada left with the kids one fall day; I was 37 years old. I was alone one night and thought I would try God! Praying all night... I remember how I ended the prayer: 'God, if you are really there, help my family and this world. You can help them by taking me out! It was then that I rememberd! Rememberd what happened to me when I was 9 years old; that Jesus touched me and the message that Mr. Williams told me!
Things started to get better. Nevada and I thought we would make a clean start, all over again. We started looking for a place to move. We found a small town in North Iowa called; Osage. We sold everything including our split-level house in the suburbs and moved to Osage. Our lives were about to change, but not so fast and not so easy!
We started a bible study and Christian fellowship called... A gathering of Christians. This got to be very good; Bible study and Christian fellowship at our house! I was feeling real good and starting to get way over confident. The ministry became more important than the help that people just like me needed. I didn't care enough; I had no real love for the lost drug addict. After all, I was not one of them anymore; or was I...Through my backsliding God was about to teach me a whole lot about the differance between going to church and being the church...
My backsliding into using meth started about 2 years after we moved to Osage. Keeping my use very secret; I would go up to the cities and buy a gram or two, bring it home. No one knew I was leading a duel life; not even my wife. I tried to quit on my own again; It worked for several months; then I would pick it back up.
In November of 2004 I went to Saint Paul and found some new kind of meth called ice or glass. The stuff is 100% pure meth and is starting a plague across America and really the world.
On December 12th of 2004 I decided to try some: I could not stop once I started. Over the following week I smoked it all. I didn't sleep for a week! Getting paranoid and delusional all over again! This time it was much worse...
By the early evening of December 19th; I was in Hell! I decided enough was enough! Like a true addict, I would use the last of what I had and then quit. Putting the last of it in the glass bubble pipe, I took a hit and at the same time prayed... 'God, if your still with me, I don't care what you have to do to heal me of this crap! I can't do it alone, I am too weak. What ever it takes Lord; I pray do it!'
I was starting to hear and see things that were not there; horrible things! My wife asked me what was wrong; I only grew more paranoid. I looked out side our window and saw human type creatures with some kind of weapons had surrounded our house! I do believe that in a sense they were real; they were demons; but not outside; they were in me!
I broke out a window to the house; got a hammer and knife from the kitchen; I was ready to do what had to against these creatures. Just ninety minutes later my wife (Nevada) and daughter (Katherine) got in our car to leave. I ran to the car and jumped into the back seat. Kate drove straight to the police department only a few blocks from our house and told me to get out! I was horrified! I told them to bring me to the store (a gas station/convince store). They did.
I went into the store; the demons were chasing me. So what do I do for help? Seeing a pile of cardboard; I get some lighter fluid and start the pile on fire! When the police come in, the fire is pretty big. They try to arrest me. I get to a small food preparation room at the front of the store and grab a 10 inch long meat carving knife. The police tried to get me to put down the knife: I didn't want to go; I didn't even know if they were real!
After emptying their cans of mace on me and then a crowd canister of the stuff... I was still holding the knife and wouldn't let them take me. Then two officers took out their guns and pointed them at my heart from a few feet away! I would be dead if the first officer that was going to pull the trigger had not forgotten to release the safety on his pistol! The other officer wanted to try and talk me in one more time.
I put the knife down and put my hands behind my back. I was on my way to prison...